Basketball Lessons

FamilyWork

Mar 15

Hey guys, it’s me again.

I learned another valuable parenting lesson this week. I believe it's one worth sharing, so I figured I’d pass it along.

It’s about basketball. But it’s also not.

My daughter, Lila Blue, is an incredible basketball player (says her obviously biased dad).

But even objectively speaking—she’s 12 years old, led her 14U homeschool team to a state championship, was named All-Regional First Team, and helped her squad finish 5th in the nation—the best result in her program’s history. As a 7th grader, she even saw varsity minutes, holding her own against girls six years older than her.

These are impressive accolades for anyone, let alone a 12-year-old going up against players with more size, age, and experience.

If you can’t tell, I’m proud of her.

For the past five years, Lila has played with an incredible group of girls from our hometown of Nixa, Missouri—families we love, teammates who have become like sisters. Because of that, we knew a tough decision was looming.

See, we homeschool our kids. That’s an intentional choice. Education is important to us, but even more important are the people we allow to shape and influence our kids.

In order for Lila to continue playing for Nixa, we’d have to enroll her in two public school courses—per Missouri law. But every attempt to get clarity on how to do this has led to more confusion. (Which, ironically, is another reason why we homeschool.)

Now, here’s where it gets personal.

I played basketball for Nixa 20+ years ago. My name is on a banner in the rafters. And the thought of my daughter playing for the same school, on the same court where I once played? That meant something to me.

I wanted that story to come full circle.

I convinced myself that playing for Nixa was the goal—that anything else was a detour.

And then, I had an embarrassing epiphany.

This isn’t about me.

I’ll say that again, because I think a lot of parents need to hear it.

Youth sports aren’t about you.

At the start of this season, I saw Lila’s new team as nothing more than a stopgap—a temporary solution until we could “figure out” how to get her on the Nixa roster.

And because of that? I had a bad attitude.

As always, it was my wife (the one with far more patience and wisdom) who helped me soften my heart. She nudged me toward the truth: Lila was thriving.

She was improving. She was leading from the front. Most importantly, she was having fun.

And the Lighthouse Chargers community? Unbelievable. The coaches and parents were supportive and kind, creating a culture where competition and character go hand in hand. Older players showed up to cheer on the younger teams—not out of obligation, but because they genuinely wanted to be there.

It was something different. It was something beautiful.

It was not at all what I had planned—but I think that was by design.

The more I learn, the more I realize how little I actually know.

And honestly? That’s freeing.

I firmly believe God has a unique plan for each of my kids. My job as their dad isn’t to force my own vision on them.

It’s to help them discover who they were created to be.

And sometimes, that means taking a step back.

Sometimes, it means adjusting my attitude.

I don’t know what the future holds for Lila Blue. Maybe she plays for Nixa someday. Maybe she doesn’t.

But I do know this:

The goal is not for Lila Blue to be the world’s greatest basketball player.

The goal is for her to be a woman of integrity. A leader. A light in the world.